Who are you to think anything?

living life to the fullest.
I think i may have figured out what that is.
Being truly happy and completely passionate about everything in your life.
I've been there before i think.
I'm not myself lately. its always us. could i live the rest of my life being dependent on others. never finding my own self.
doubt it.

though, i know people who i believe are living their lives like that. and they are okay. they are happy.
I don't blame them they haven't seen anything more.
just to think if this would be as much as i know, i might just stay.
but im not going to stay because i know more.
but i will stay until im ready to be independent. ready to find myself again...

Falling..fell.

some songs make me feel like i did back then. They make me feel like flying down the interstate with you. But then it all snaps back into reality when the song ends. All those intense feelings i just had are gone. Or maybe after i watch a really good episode of Grey's' it makes me feel like you. I feel the future. It feels good but I don't want to be living those moments yet. I'm stuck in this time now. I'm not ready for whats coming quite yet. What is even coming?

I think back to those years. We were all in our own little world. Its fun to go back in my head and think about them. Maybe even want all of that back. Wish nothing had changed. Then i think a little deeper and I wouldn't like to go back. I like things how they are now. Except back then i felt like i knew myself. Now i feel like I've destroyed myself in a sense.